I have always encouraged my children to cry when they were sad...boys and girls..not when they wanted a chocolate bar in the store or to get something they were denied...but to cry...even in private when the need arose and release all the sad feelings. Crying, for me, is a necessary part of being human...being stable..being whole, and at peace. If I get stuck in crying, then things get bad... but when I do purposeful grief work...find a safe place with a friend on speed dial ...and really, really sob from my inner child's little heart..I feel exhausted but more at peace afterwards...I think it is kind of like having a clay yard with weeds in it. If you have ever tried to dig a clay yard when it is dry, you will understand that it is like trying to break apart a solid brick. It is absolutely impossible to even pluck a weed until the ground has been soaked with the cleansing, nourishing rain. After that, the ground will be workable and open. Enabling you to remove the damaging weeds. Some plants, like codependents, thrive in this harsh soil...they have learned to soak up the good loving moments in life...lay down strong deep roots and to wither a little but persevere during the dry times when that ground is like a brick..feeling stuck until the next rain releases the weeds that choke them and the ground is workable once again. <3
