The Buttercup Principle

     Life with an addict is beautifully mirrored in nature by the buttercup.  As children, we have all seen the game where you hold a buttercup under someone's  chin and say "Lets see if you like butter. " If you like butter your chin will reflect the yellow of the flower.
     The plant has a beautiful, delicate, flower that is, the colour of the sun but it's appealing, playful, appearance is misleading..and if you EVER let it into your yard it will take over every plant bed and even spread to your neighbour and your neighbour's neighbour in one growing season.
      My mother (ironically, my son's enabler) brought 'said plant' to my garden one day and planted a pretty little patch...now, six years later, it is EVERYWHERE and has spread for BLOCKS in my neighbourhood!  Once it takes root there is no easy way to get rid of it..usually it attaches itself around the roots of other plants, so, much like the addiction, you can't just totally remove it without killing the good plant.  You can only prune the tops and remember to

And just WHY are you so SAD ?

"Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too."  
...Frederick Buechner



     I remember one time, on facebook, I posted a story about a homeless woman who tried to sell her baby for cash at a fast food joint.  Everyone who read my facebook post was  disgusted, sad, and some even felt bad for her.  That POOR baby... that POOR woman...that HORRIBLE woman etc...
     So how is it that some of these same people who had such outpourings of emotion for this nameless stranger,  felt that it was ridiculous and selfish of me to get upset after I saw MY young son in his official jail issued suicide-wear "oven mitt dress" after he tried to kill himself in JAIL ON my BIRTHDAY!  They felt my grief and distress was unwarranted and that I should just "LET IT GO".    "Think of your 4 OTHER children." they said...pbfffffttttt
     REALLY ??!!  They felt that the normal reaction for seeing my son's battered face (battered because he was banging it on the walls of his cell until he passed out) and desperate eyes, and him  groaning and lying on the floor crying "Mommy please get me out of here, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!"  ...they felt  that the normal reaction from a mother to THIS would be just to sluff it off? LET IT GO???
     How about when Rick Rypien, the hockey player  died as a result of mental health issues and YEARS of  drug abuse. Why was it ok for