And just WHY are you so SAD ?

"Compassion is sometimes the fatal capacity for feeling what it is like to live inside somebody else's skin. It is the knowledge that there can never really be any peace and joy for me until there is peace and joy finally for you too."  
...Frederick Buechner



     I remember one time, on facebook, I posted a story about a homeless woman who tried to sell her baby for cash at a fast food joint.  Everyone who read my facebook post was  disgusted, sad, and some even felt bad for her.  That POOR baby... that POOR woman...that HORRIBLE woman etc...
     So how is it that some of these same people who had such outpourings of emotion for this nameless stranger,  felt that it was ridiculous and selfish of me to get upset after I saw MY young son in his official jail issued suicide-wear "oven mitt dress" after he tried to kill himself in JAIL ON my BIRTHDAY!  They felt my grief and distress was unwarranted and that I should just "LET IT GO".    "Think of your 4 OTHER children." they said...pbfffffttttt
     REALLY ??!!  They felt that the normal reaction for seeing my son's battered face (battered because he was banging it on the walls of his cell until he passed out) and desperate eyes, and him  groaning and lying on the floor crying "Mommy please get me out of here, I CAN'T HANDLE THIS!!"  ...they felt  that the normal reaction from a mother to THIS would be just to sluff it off? LET IT GO???
     How about when Rick Rypien, the hockey player  died as a result of mental health issues and YEARS of  drug abuse. Why was it ok for
the country to feel bad for HIS Dad or to grieve about HIS FAMILY'S loss...is he MORE of an addict than MY son...were his mental health issues WORSE than my son's? (RIP Rick :'( ...  )
     Should humans be told who  they may have compassion for?  Is it just easier to feel empathy for, or to pity, a stranger? Is someone more worthy of being honoured because they are a famous and/or a wealthy person ?
     Amy Winehouse died a tragic death as a result of her addictions..she had the exact same problem as my son when she ended her own life.  How heartbreaking, and such a sad loss of talent...
     Why is it more socially acceptable for people to feel badly for STRANGERS and NOT for FAMILY members ?  How is it less tolerable for someone to feel grief because they are actually CONNECTED to a person who is suffering or who has passed? Are we, as a society, afraid that we will lose these grieving people to a deep " unhealable" depression or even to suicide themselves?  Are we afraid about being called upon for our support or understanding?  Are we unwilling to connect with these hurting people and to potentially feel some of their agony ?  Is it easier to be anonymous and to just care from "afar" than to really feel the hurt of losing someone we love, or even watch them die before our eyes?  I suppose if grief and loss is part of your daily life, you actually HAVE to address it, to FEEL it yourself perhaps...you just cant "close the tab" or "delete the post" and go on living the way you always did...you would really have to take a look at these vulnerable people in our society and maybe even advocate to DO SOMETHING about their struggles...or perhaps feel the agony of accepting that one day YOU may  have to set boundaries and walk away from someone YOU love and let them ride their own life journey...however painful that may be for them, and for you. <3