The Buttercup Principle

     Life with an addict is beautifully mirrored in nature by the buttercup.  As children, we have all seen the game where you hold a buttercup under someone's  chin and say "Lets see if you like butter. " If you like butter your chin will reflect the yellow of the flower.
     The plant has a beautiful, delicate, flower that is, the colour of the sun but it's appealing, playful, appearance is misleading..and if you EVER let it into your yard it will take over every plant bed and even spread to your neighbour and your neighbour's neighbour in one growing season.
      My mother (ironically, my son's enabler) brought 'said plant' to my garden one day and planted a pretty little patch...now, six years later, it is EVERYWHERE and has spread for BLOCKS in my neighbourhood!  Once it takes root there is no easy way to get rid of it..usually it attaches itself around the roots of other plants, so, much like the addiction, you can't just totally remove it without killing the good plant.  You can only prune the tops and remember to
maintain the pruning so the plant can't start spreading again.
     In my yard, the buttercups especially like to root around the spiky stems of the rosebushes and blackberries...and much like any dealings with boundaries and the active addict, these are VERY painful to remove or prune...I have the scars to prove it.
     Garden gloves (much like 12 step programs and support networks) are the best way to protect yourself from the injuries of removing this weed.  Sometimes the gloves make gardening a little awkward and it robs you of the feeling of the soil between your fingers, the whole gardening experience, but it definitely helps to protect you .
     One time, I tried to maintain a little patch of buttercups as they really are so pretty...sadly  just like the times I let my addict suck me in...I paid for it by going back to square one of weed removal again...this is similar to enabling...sometimes you just can't help it..just begin again and don't give up....and finally...dealing with or trying to take control of your addicts addiction or recovery journey IS, as a wise recovery friend once told me, like WEEDING your NEIGHBOUR'S garden...now WHO would want to do THAT???